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  • Writer's pictureElisha Bae

Friend Trouble (And How To Avoid It)

Sometimes, you inevitably fall out with your friends. But sometimes, there are ways to avoid them!

Friends aren't like your family, unless it's a really exclusive friendship where you've known them since birth and never stopped hanging out with each other (my friendship goal). I don't mean this in a way to disrespect any of your friendship, but they're generally harder to mend when broken. Even if you've fought with your parents, you can probably shake it off in a day or two. When it comes to friends, well... you might decide not to see them ever again in your life. I know, it's different for everyone, but in general, this is the case.


Personally, I've had to deal with some sort of friend trouble every single year in school. Some cases were small enough to deal with and I got better at making sure that these problems didn't happen at all.


Always Be A Listener

One way to avoid friendship trouble is to listen to what your friend has to say. Most problems occur when people are self-centred and care about their own needs instead of putting others first. Avoid this by talking to them when you think there's a misunderstanding or they're not satisfied with things between you. You could compromise things or solve the misunderstanding without hurting each others' feelings.


Don't Spread Rumours

This is really important. If there's something that you're not sure about, don't tell anyone else about it. Especially if it's about your friend. The worse thing you can do to your friend is to betray their trust and spread false rumours about them. Actually, don't even carry out the rumours. Just let them pass by. If your friend is having a hard time because of this, let them know that you're not swayed by it.


Never Speak Behind Others' Backs

People will always find out who's been talking about them behind their backs. This is the fastest way to lose your friends' trust. Most people, when they talk about others behind their backs, will exaggerate the event and make it seem worse to make them look bad. If you want to keep your friendship, don't go around talking about your friend when they're not with you.


Don't Be Afraid To Speak Out

If you think that you're being treated unfairly or need to set things straight with your friend, don't be afraid to do so. Chances are, your friend also wants to talk to you about the problem but is too worried to say it. If things don't work out between you when you've spoken your mind, that tells you that your friend may not be the best listener.


Remember The Line

There's a fine line between being funny and comfortable with each other and being rude. Never forget that your friendship is built on trust and respect, so if you think that hitting, swearing, or teasing is fine even though your friend told you to stop, you're not being a good friend. Of course, this works the other way round: if your friend is doing something that you've told them not to do, it's not okay.


If It Doesn't Fit, Leave It

This may sound harsh, but you can't please everyone. If your friendship is dysfunctional -- a give-and-take relationship where you're just doing everything they want or a friendship that's for show -- it's just not going to work out. It's better to move away from those types of friendships and find new friends; ones that will make you feel comfortable.

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